Thinking About: Thinking

It should not come as any surprise to my regular readers that I think about things a lot. Indeed it has been said more than once that I think far too much. Not surprisingly I have always been rather mystified by this comment. How, I thought, is it even possible to think too much? Part of the implied criticism is that I think about things other people – arguably normal people – do not think about at all (or only fleetingly). Most people I come into regular contact with consider that I’m a little odd when I talk about the things that interest me or articulate some of the thought processes that regularly pass through my mind. Of course, over the years, I’ve learnt to moderate my outbursts or wild speculations not wanting to alienate or ‘creep out’ those around me. But sometimes I just can’t help myself. I actually enjoy thinking about things very much. Though from time to time, especially when I’m snuggling into my bed, after a long day I do wish that my mind would “shut the fuck up” so that I can get some much needed sleep.

Whilst rejecting the idea that I think too much about things, I can understand another aspect of what people mean. I have a very annoying tendency to over analyse things – to the extent that it can stop me doing anything at all. This is especially pronounced when I’m thinking about relationships or potential relationships. If I’m uncertain about things I try to look at them from as many angles as I can before making a decision. Unfortunately I find that I’m often working with inadequate information and feel that I don’t have enough grounds to jump one way or the other – so I hesitate…. And then hesitate some more until the person I’m either in a relationship with (on those rare occasions) or hoping to be in a relationship with gives up in exasperation and moves on to someone who can actually make an apparently simple decision. I think that it’s largely based on fear. The more I’m emotionally invested in a decision the more difficult I find choosing a course of action which, because of inadequate information (or bad thinking), may be the wrong one. In these circumstances rather than potentially making the wrong decision I default to making no decision which, rather ironically, is normally the wrong decision. If, however, my emotion commitment is low or absent (or my confidence levels are high enough) I can make apparently important decisions instantly even in the absence of sufficient information. Go figure.

Generally speaking I don’t believe that people think about things enough. They fail to look ahead and consider the consequences of their actions, they go on gut-instinct or emotional response which, more often than not, gets them into a whole heap of trouble they try to instinct their way out of or just attempt to deal with. I’ve seen this happen so often that it’s just not funny any more. Although I’m not beyond a bit of instinctive behaviour from time to time and I probably have similar emotional responses to other people, the thinking part of my mind has a tendency to jump in at that point, wave its metaphorical arms in front of me, and caution me to think before I do anything rash. I have probably avoided a good many mistakes in that way though I’ve probably missed out on a fair share of opportunities too. On balance though I consider that thinking about things – even too much – is better than not thinking about things. People’s lives and the world in general would, I think, be better if we all gave things a bit more thought rather than doing the first thing that comes into our heads and living with the consequences afterwards. I shall, then, be continuing to think about things for the rest of my life and some of them I shall continue to share with you here.