Thinking About: Comfort Zones
As Dr Sheldon Cooper PhD rightly said – they call it a comfort zone for a reason. I like my comfort zone, and when I say I like it I actually mean that I love it, deeply. If my comfort zone was an actual zone then my house would be pretty much right in the middle. Once I find something or somewhere I like I stay with it until it ceases to exist or something fairly momentous happens. I am very much a creature of habit. I tend to wear the same kind of things year in year out (never being a creature of fashion), I eat the same kind of food, read the same kind of book (or at least a small number of common themes) and have lived in my present house for around 20 years. Generally speaking very little changes in my life. I am, to be honest, rather risk averse. Or in other words I’m a coward. I don’t like change or new stuff very much so minimise it wherever I can. Again, in other words, I’m fairly boring. Thankfully though, there is another aspect of my personality that finds this all rather boring too. So when the comfort/boredom gets too much I see what I can do about it.
One thing I look out for are ‘special offers’ in the shops which allows me to try new/different things at ‘low risk’. This could be anything from a new flavour of something (I experiment with ‘odd’ breads this way), a new author (I’m trying more of those and am creeping into what might be called ‘mainstream’ publishing), a new band or genre of music (I tried to like Jazz some time ago but find it very difficult to enjoy, though I have deepened and widened my love of The Blues which I honestly adore), more colourful clothes (I tend to be rather dull in my apparel with dark sombre colours predominating but I am experimenting with red quite a lot lately).
Another thing I’ve discovered recently is joining friends in their comfort zones – which may, or may not, overlap my own. This has found me visiting places I’ve never been before and would never have visited without someone’s invitation, joining clubs and societies – including amateur dramatics (backstage rather than front of house I hasten to add) that added a lot of fun to my life some years back, and even moving completely out of my comfort zone momentarily by attending big sporting events (totally not my thing) including one of last year’s NFL games in Wembley Stadium (Detroit Lions and Atlanta Falcons) which I’m going to repeat this year (Miami Dolphins and New York Jets) as it’s a bit closer to my comfort zone now.
The NFL thing was pretty much an impulse decision which I have not regretted. Now I’m a firm believer that spontaneity has it’s time and place and struggle to act ‘off the cuff’. I know I think about things too much and struggle to make quick decisions about unfamiliar things, but I’m working on it. Such things probably take me out of my comfort zone more than anything else. Sometimes I really do scare the crap out of myself – although I was aware of my limitations enough some years ago to turn an offered bungee jump down flat. I knew for a fact that I really wouldn’t like it and that it would be a complete waste of money. The ‘carrot’ dangled in front of me, I remember, was the idea that it would make me ‘feel alive’. To which I responded “I already know I’m alive”. No arguing with me on that one! But thinking about it the scariest thing I've probably ever done in my life was to jump off a perfectly serviceable boat in scuba gear never having actually learnt to swim properly - but that was because a very attractive woman talked me into it (ah, the power of sex).
So, although my comfort zone is pretty wide and fairly deep in some ways and despite the fact that I dearly love living there 24/7 I do feel the need to make short sharp forays outside, or at least to the edges, from time to time. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t do something odd, different or bizarre from time to time. It’s just that sometimes I have to think about it for a decade or two before I decide things. But sometimes I’ll dye my hair bright green just to see what it looks like or even read 50 Shades of Grey to see what all the fuss is about(like that’s ever going to happen).
2 comments:
My comfort zone is my house too. I could very easily keep myself busy around the house for weeks without venturing out or interacting with others, that is, so long as I can move about and do things. I learned that lesson well after surgery a year and a half ago. It's not that I'm afraid of venturing out or trying new things, it's just that I've found so many things that totally captivate me that I don't get bored easily. Then there's also M, she has a constant need to be around people, doing things, traveling, trying strange foods. She can't get enough of new experiences, so I'm often along for the ride too. Oh, I enjoy myself, but I am not the instigator for all these experiences. I also wear the same things year in and out. My standard uniform is nice dark jeans, a button-down Oxford, and a colorful blazer. I'm always on the lookout for new Blazers and jewelry, but the uniform is essentially the same. It only took me thirty years to figure out what I look best in, so I'm sticking with it. I think I'm also discovering my best hairstyle is shoulder length hair and bangs, no matter how many times I try new styles. I'm more adventurous in my music tastes. I have quite a range of songs that I like, even if I don't go for everything in a genre. I used to be more of a gypsy in thought, style, relationships, and moving around. I usually only lasted 2-3 years with things before getting bored and needing to move on. I think I've settled down a bit over the years. Now I'm good for a job for about ten years, and about that for living in the same place. I'm getting the itch to do something more or different with work. I think I need to start working on articles or a book. I'm also leaning toward wanting to move, which is good since M is on the job market. I really want to build a little house in the mountains to settle into for my old age, something small enough for me to be able to take care of as I age. Okay, enough of the late night confessional. We had a snow day today, but tomorrow I have to get to work. Goodnight!
v v said: It only took me thirty years to figure out what I look best in, so I'm sticking with it.
I definitely lol-ed at that one! Some people never discover their own personal style. Those that do really stand out from the followers of fashion. Personally I prefer to decide how I dress myself in the mornings without referring to a so called 'expert'.
v v said: I think I'm also discovering my best hairstyle is shoulder length hair and bangs, no matter how many times I try new styles.
From early teens to mid twenties I had long hair - from shoulder length to longer. Then, completely on a whim, I had it cut short - very short. Except when I don't have the time to get it seen to that's how it's been ever since. Although I am toying with having a pony-tail... [grin]
v v said: I'm more adventurous in my music tastes. I have quite a range of songs that I like, even if I don't go for everything in a genre.
My musical tastes are all over the place. Just before I was listening to Fiona Apple, now it's Velvet Underground... I like Blues, Rock (several varieties), Pop, Soul, Classical... all kinds of things..
v v said: I really want to build a little house in the mountains to settle into for my old age, something small enough for me to be able to take care of as I age.
I had a similar idea but near the coast - the more rugged the better. Except I'd be well off enough to get someone to build it for me (after designing it myself).
v v said: We had a snow day today, but tomorrow I have to get to work.
No snow here. A light dusting some weeks ago and then nothing. Glorious early Spring day today. It was almost warm except for a chilly breeze.
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