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I have a burning need to know stuff and I love asking awkward questions.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Gosh…! This Cyberkitten’s a Boy!

I’ve been thinking about ‘outing’ myself for sometime now. But after some comments back and forth on foilwomans diary (see links) I’ve decided that now is that time.

[Takes deep breath]. Hi, my names Cyberkitten…. And I’m [gulp] a guy. Phew, at least that bits over with. I know that several, many…. most(?) of you thought I was a girl…. But it’s not the case I’m afraid. I’m sorry if there’s been any misunderstanding. It certainly hasn’t been my intention to masquerade as a girl – despite my Blogging ‘handle’ – it’s just that I’m not the kind of guy who constantly needs to assert his masculinity by spraying testosterone around the room. I mean, I’ve seen cats do that and its not pretty or hygienic. I did go out with the intention of having a ‘gender neutral’ Blog (as much as I could) but haven’t gone out of my way (much) to hide what gender I am.

Actually, as things progressed I became more and more intrigued as to why people thought I was a girl. After all I don’t think this is a ‘typical’ girl Blog – if there is such a thing. I mean, the main topics of conversation are religion and politics. There’s been precious little relationship stuff and hardly anything that I would consider traditional women’s issues. Is it just the name ‘Cyberkitten’….? Would your impressions of me be different if it had been ‘Cybercat’ or ‘Cyberdog’ or even ‘Cyberdude’?

So, if you’re willing, let me know why you thought I was a girl? I’m very interested to know. It might explain why a number of the people I know thought I was gay on first meeting. Maybe it’s that I’m thoughtful, that I don’t like sport, that I read a lot, that when I talk to a woman I look at her face and not at her breasts? Maybe it’s that I’m too in control (see my Spock post). Maybe some of my readers will be able to explain things to me. Go on. Give it a go.

Finally I can only say I’m sorry if people out there feel deceived or misled in someway. It was certainly completely unintentional. I apologise unreservedly and hope it doesn’t change things – once you get used to the idea.

28 comments:

..................... said...

okay cyberdu/err/kitten,

Mine was a strictly sexist (I guess) assumption based on your blog name since I hadn't been to your site yet. ( probably would have eventually since I do
check out other links or comments.
Interestingly, I've sometimes been tempted to start a blog that is non gender specific and wondered if I could do it. My present one is your typical female diary/rehashing old memories blog. Your welcome to drop by, but if not that is fine too. I noticed Mr. Spock downstairs, so I'll just have to be coming back at times. Star Trek rules indeed.

Paste said...

Hmmm, I had you down as Crazies partner so definitely a bloke (check with Mr A if you don't believe me!) So now we know you are male what else do we get to find out? Married, children, location etc etc. It's still all very secretive.

But anyway onto more important matters:- I don’t like sport, that I read a lot, that when I talk to a woman I look at her face and not at her breasts.

If you drop me an e mail I can point you in the direction of some very clever doctors that believe it or not can cure you of the se two afflictions......................:-)

CyberKitten said...

welcome schaumi (interesting name BTW) to my Blog. Please visit whenever you wish.

Most of the debate here is fairly 'heavy' but don't let that put you off... I sometimes drop a bit of fun stuff too to lighten things up a bit [grin].

I'll check you out later... Thanks for the comments.

Aginoth said...

(resists the need to make a sarcastic "I'm Shocked" comment)

LOL ():-)

CyberKitten said...

dave said: I had you down as Crazies partner so definitely a bloke

Funnily early on in both of our Blogging efforts some people thought that CQ was a gay guy & I was 'his' gay partner. Then when it transpired that CQ was in fact a girl some people *still* thought that I was her gay partner (go figure).

Actually when CQ & I are out together people who don't actually know what our relationship is naturally assume that we're a couple - though it's not the first time that a friend (of either sex) has been assumed to be my partner. I guess I'm just intimate/relaxed with my friends...

As to 'fixing' me... No thanks. I like the way I am.....

craziequeen said...

You're a GUY?????????

[falls off chair]

oh, and btw - [rotflmao] dave.....

cq

Foilwoman said...

Sexism pure and simple. I assumed the "kitten" part meant female. Most guys do have the testosterone spraying thing down and don't pick fluffy fuzzy handles. Cybercat would probably sound gender neutral, CyberDog, male, and CyberDude, male. Silly, isn't it. Wow, you look at the face, not the breasts? Even when she's wearing a pushup bra?

CyberKitten said...

foilwoman asked: Wow, you look at the face, not the breasts? Even when she's wearing a pushup bra?

I'm not that much of a breast man actually. Maybe its because I was breast fed? Probably why some women think I'm gay, huh? [grin]. What can I say.. I have a 'thing' about faces (particularly eyes). OK, I like a nicely shaped butt too.... but women tend not to be looking at me when I'm looking at it....

Jewish Atheist said...

I would have bet that "cyberkitten" was a female if I had to bet, but I'm almost positive that I made up my mind about your gender after I saw someone else refer to you as "she." :-) Sorry.

dbackdad said...

Color me embarrassed. I'm not sure if I referred to you as a she independently or repeated after seeing someone else do it. But I certainly perpetuated the myth. I had you pegged as a gay female ... isn't that odd? Obviously it didn't matter regardless.

Kinda reminds me of JA's elaborately created pyschological exercise of a about a month ago where he started something at the start of the weekend ... left for a few days ... and came to admire the monster he had inadvertantly created. You're a cruel and brilliant trickster CK! :-)

Sadie Lou said...

I have always assumed you were male. I often say, "He" when I talk about you and you have never corrected me. Then again, I saw other people say,"she" and I wanted to correct THEM but didn't feel it was my place.
I'm not suprised. You know how you read people's comments with a 'voice'?
Your voice was male. For sure. (and annoying)
Just kidding.
:)

Michael K. Althouse said...

Aside from your "handle," there is nothing in your blog's content that would suggest one gender or another. Having said that, I assumed, quite obviously incorrectly, that "cyberkitten" was a female persona. Look, it's a "chick's" name, i.e. "sexkitten," ok. Sorry, but that's what I thought. Am I embarrassed? Wht should I be. It's not as though the post/comment cycle had all that much (if anything) to do with gender. If memory serves, your posts deal with somewhat more sustantive topics than the battle of the sexes.

All the same, I'm glad that I know!

~Mike

Juggling Mother said...

FWIW I think the kitten thing thre everyone. Cybercat would have been more gender neutral, but knowing you IRL I get why you went with kitten;-)

Oh & cyberdude would just mean you are a prick:-)

I like that nearly everyone had you down as gay, although some as a male & some as a female. Funny ha ha.

I can point you towards some very substansive female blogs if you like - but I don't think you need it.

Uberchap - looking at breasts occasionally is not so bad - but having a conversation with them is another thing altogether. How would you feel if I spent the entire discussion staring at your crotch?

WV = zkgzggoi aha, so thats what the spice girls really really wanted....

CyberKitten said...

uberchap - I think you missed two things about my posting.

Firstly was this: After all I don’t think this is a ‘typical’ girl Blog – if there is such a thing.

Blogs are as individual as the people who produce them. However, my experience of Blogs is that 'girls' tend to blog about different things than 'guys do... However, I am working from a very small sample.

Second you missed the wry irony/sarcasm - which admittedly is very difficult to get across in text. I'll add more [grin] & [wink] in future.

I guess that it is my 'fate' to be misunderstood [grin].

Mrs A said: Oh & cyberdude would just mean you are a prick:-)

Very true! [rotflmao] Waits for irrate comment from 'Cyberdude'....

Mrs A also said: I like that nearly everyone had you down as gay, although some as a male & some as a female. Funny ha ha.

Story of my life I'm afraid....

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Hi Cyberkitten....I thought you were a girl because if your name. I wouldn't have thought that (maybe) if you had been Cybercat and I know I wouldn't have thought that if you were Cyberdude. I know it seems really stupid to me now, that I thought that because of the 'kitten' part...I mean, my sweet cat Sweetie is a boy, but many people think he is a girl because of his name. HA! I certainly shoud know that Kittens can be male, better than most people, shouldn't I? And it wasn't until CQ happened to mention your 'gemner' that I realized you are a male....and a very very nice one, I might add....I am ashamed of myself for jumping to the conclusion I did because of the word Kitten...What does that say about me???

On another subject: I'm too appalled to comment about your next post right there in that comment section..Applalle and Chicken, too. I think one night stands are empty hollow distant unsatisfying ways of keeping yourself out of true intimate situations. And adutlry...another way to take "yourself"..your true self away from true intimacy with your spouse....but of course I'm not married so what do I know...and to me there is something not quite right about genetically altering anything; cloning; impregnation by petrie dish and frozen sperm and frozen eggs...Okay. I've said my piece but in the wrong place. I'm a coward. Don't hate me.

CyberKitten said...

uberchap & Lux_luther:

If you want to check up on what are considered to be 'Womens Issues' may I suggest you buy/borrow a copy of Cosmo or such like or simply Google "Womens Issues".

Lux_Luther also said: Luckily, even when he doesn't credit them it's fairly easy to tell because of the writing styles.

I do normal give credit where credit is due. If there's a name (and often publication) at the top of the posting then its not mine. If there's nothing.. then its by me. I did post a few things back in the early days that were a mixture of stuff from the Web plus me... but I don't do that anymore. Can you point to anything that you think I've plagerised?

CyberKitten said...

Naomi said: Don't hate me.

Never going to happen!

CyberKitten said...

lux_luther pointed out...

From April alone - "Why is Easter Sunday A Moveable Feast", "Claims of victory over religious hatred bill questioned" and "UN urged by Vatican to examine arms trade". "If there's nothing.. then its by me." Oops.

That's a good point. None of them where by me... I'll see what I can do about making that clearer in future....

lux also said: That's not the question I asked, and well you know it. Comprehension 1/10, must try harder.

What? So you want me to list things that are listed elsewhere? Why? What's the beef?

CyberKitten said...

lux said: I thought that was a very old-fashioned and politically conservative viewpoint, that's all, and was giving you the opportunity to give your own viewpoint.

I'm curious as to why you think what was essentially a 'throw away' comment is so important. What we might end up with is a list of what I think are traditionally 'womens issues' and what you think are 'womens issues'. Then what?

As to being "old fashioned and conservative" - did you mean 'wrong' or was there some other point you were trying to make?

Sadie Lou said...

If you're happy for everybody to think that you believe Cosmo sums up all that women care about and all they talk about (as you must, if you think your avoidance of these topics clearly marks you out as not being a woman) then that's fine.

Cyberkitten knows that there are plenty of blogs out there that are written by women and do not deal with "traditional women's issues" because he frequents my blog.
Right, Cy?
While I may talk about my children and my husband every now and again, I typically talk about religion, God, politics and movies/music--not in that order.
I don't think Cy frequents any blogs that are stereotypically "female" as you find in such rubbish like Cosmo.
You don't actually read Cosmo do you?

CyberKitten said...

Sadie Lou asked: You don't actually read Cosmo do you?

Not for a long time no...... It's a bit 'old fashioned' these days isn't it?

Sadie Lou said...

how many articles can one read about how to reach the Big 'O"? or "How to Please Your Man"?

There's more half naked women per sq. inch in that magazine than any magazine targetting a male audience.

Sadie Lou said...

Hey Lux, how come you don't have a blog?

Michael K. Althouse said...

What a crazy, mixed up world we live in.

Doctor Marco said...

Oh I am so disappointed! Just kidding. I do not think it makes a difference

OldLady Of The Hills said...

OY VEY IZ MEER! My head hurts from this dissecetion of a pin head with surgical knives or whatever...Who Cares? I came back, my dear CK cause I am very interested in the things people say, but my head hurts from this dissection...
Here...my dears, HERE are some real Woman's Issue's: "Menstral Flow...or, Just How Much Blood Is Too Much?" see the January 1955 issue of Woman And Her Supposed Needs magazine. OR, "What Is It That Women Really Want?" by S. Freud as translated from the original German with a nod to the Yiddish Version, by Albert Ellis, an article in Pschology Yesterday, 1960...just a few articles I have in my "Women's Issues" folder that I clipped out of these magazines, which I'm sorry to say are turning yellow brown, so I could know what it is I really was thinking about. THESE are woman's issues, my dears.

JR said...

CK, before really getting to know the topics of your blog, you told me early on that you were male. So I wasn't in the dark long. I also thought you were a gay male and I've never met you. Can't really say why I thought that, other than you haven't pulled any aggressive, male macho stuff that I've seen in others or made me feel less than you by virtue of my gender, or threatened in any way. That's probably not coming out how I mean it, but, it's just that you're comfortable to read and argue with, so for me, that's either a gay male friend, a brother, or a grandfather. I chose the first. Sorry. :-)
Oh, and I thought CQ was a gay male too. I have no clue why.

Sadie Lou said...

I see.