My Hero: Mr Spock.

Mr Spock saved my life – or at least my sanity. Well, that’s what I like to believe anyway. I found my teenage years rather… difficult. I wasn’t beaten (much) and wasn’t abused but I found it very difficult indeed coping with all those pesky emotions and hormones raging through my system. I honestly thought that I was going to either go mad, explode or kill myself…. Fortunately I took neither option – OK, the madness thing is up for debate (or maybe not for those who know me IRL).

Anyway, back to Mr Spock. It seems to be one of those defining questions people get asked as parties: Star Wars or Star Trek? For me that’s an easy question. Star Trek – for all of its (many) faults – rocks. One of the reasons that the Original Series did it for me was Leonard Nimoy. He’s not exactly the greatest actor in the world but the character of Spock really spoke to me. He valued reason, logic and science above all (putting to one side his emotional outbursts and so on). But the thing I really admired him for was his self control. While the rest of the crew – and in particular Dr McCoy – went all emotional and frantic, what did Spock do? Raised an eyebrow!

If only (I thought as a teenager) I could be that in control! So I tried, and tried and tried again. Finally I gained more and more control of myself. This may have been just a natural process of growing up and increasing maturity (stop sniggering at the back) but I still put it down to Mr Spock – mostly.

Of course it causes problems – as it did for Spock. I’m sometimes accused of being unfeeling or unemotional, though I’m also praised for being calm and refusing to panic. I certainly feel emotions – I just don’t wear them on my sleeve. I certainly don’t ‘get off’ on displaying my emotions in public. But sometimes I go too far and probably come across as being detached and callous. I need to watch that. Maybe lighten up a little. Let the human side of me out to play a bit more?

I still think Spock Rocks though. That Vulcan saved my life. May he Live Long and Prosper.