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I have a burning need to know stuff and I love asking awkward questions.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Thinking About: (Super) Heroes

Like millions of other people over the last few weeks I saw Avengers: Infinity War (Part 1) recently. Unlike many of those millions I wasn’t that impressed by it. What’s more the movie has convinced me that I’m done with the whole Super Hero genre and that Infinity War would be the last such film I see (most probably).

Let me explain: I have to say that I have never been a fan of comic books and honestly can’t understand what people see in them. Some of the art work is pretty good but give me a decent novel any day of the week over comics. They just don’t do it for me. Despite seeing most of the current crop of superhero films over the last 10-15 years I’ve actually enjoyed very few of them. I rank movies (rather crudely) into Bronze, Silver & Gold. Gold movies are bought the day they come out on DVD. Silver will (generally) be bought once they hit the cheap section. Bronze movies will be watched on TV/Cable if they’re on and I have nothing better to do. To date only two of the superhero films made my Gold list. They were Captain America: Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. I did actually (rather reluctantly) buy the Guardians sequel not long after it came out more for the characters and memory of the first movie rather than a great love of the sequel. After several watching’s I’m growing to like it more. The Silver list comprise of X-Men: First Class and Suicide Squad (mostly for Margot Robbie as Harlequin). I think that’s it.

My favourite super film – head and shoulders above the rest is Winter Soldier. That, I think, is simply a GOOD film rather than just a good superhero film. Great pacing, interesting characters, GREAT set pieces and a decent smattering of humour to lighten the moment. It didn’t hurt having Scarlett in tight leather – just saying. I didn’t mind the recent Thor film. Chris Hemsworth is a very creditable Thor and I like him as an actor. I also like Tom Hiddleston who played his half-brother Loki. Then there’s the lovely (and funny) Tessa Thompson playing Valkyrie and who can forget Cate Blanchett having FAR too much fun playing the ultra-baddie Hela. But still, after all that it might have (just) only edged it onto the Silver list. Fun, but disposable fun. Saw the first Thor film but none of the subsequent one’s before Ragnarok.

As to the others: Superman is just boring. He can defeat anyone who isn’t up on the whole Kryptonite thing. Batman is just a guy with lots of money and a deep need for revenge. Spiderman is just a kid with webs, the Hulk is just angry, Iron Man needs to get over himself, Captain America is OK if you like your bread white and rather old fashioned so I can deal with him. So I’ve stopped seeing Iron Man movies (first 2 I think I saw). Didn’t see the last Hulk film. Only saw the first two Spiderman movies – I lost count of the reboots – and wasn’t impressed with either of the Fantastic Four efforts. Didn’t see Ant Man and won’t be seeing the sequel. Thought Deadpool was OK in a rather crude way but haven’t seen the sequel (and won’t be). Was seriously underwhelmed by Black Panther that I was really looking forward to. So much wrong with that movie I hardly know where to start. Then we come to my super epiphany: Infinity War.

Despite my misgivings about ensemble movies I was quite looking forward to it. But after 2 hours and 40 minutes I left the theatre both bored and annoyed by the whole thing. SPOLIERS AHEAD!!! First the start was pretty slow and lumbering. Hiddleston in particular looking like he was phoning it in. For some reason Hemsworth, usually so good in these things, was both over and underacting in turn. Moving to Earth the ‘action’ was pretty average (have you ever wondered where the authorities are when superheroes battle super-baddies? I have. No police – that I saw – no military presence - IN NEW YORK! – where were the alert fighters???) and both Spiderman’s and Iron Man’s ever changeable suits just got silly real quick. As the action scattered across the Galaxy it all got rather messy and, to my mind, all rather pointless except to move the plot in a certain direction. It was disjointed and jerky. Any danger faced by the protagonists was minor at best and usually illusorily. Thanos wasn’t much of a super-baddie to be honest and actually got the Infinity stones (in the main) with little expended effort. I couldn’t help thinking why no one had accomplished it centuries earlier. Naturally the fight scenes got longer and more elaborate as the movie progressed and Thanos gained in power (yawn) and, as in so many other of these films the ‘action’ or plot was merely a vehicle to get from boss fight to boss fight. The final big battle in Wakanda was frankly a joke. Engage ALL defences? Oh, you mean the shield that living creatures can crawl through. That one? Pathetic. At this point I was pretty disgusted by the whole thing and then something happened that I didn’t think possible – it got worse. When Thanos won and clicked his fingers to eliminate half the galaxies population it included the ‘deaths’ of some of the superheroes previously fighting him including Spiderman and Black Panther. Of course the next Spiderman movie is already in pre-production. So, unless it’s in the time before Infinity War (and any subsequent movies are ‘flashbacks’) then Peter Parker isn’t actually dead. Likewise Black Panther is back in the next movie so he isn’t dead either which means one of two things – either there’s going to be some kind of Magic Reset Button in Part 2 or they’ll pull some bullshit about alternate timelines or some such. Essentially it’ll be some sleight of hand thing which most people will accept and move on. Not me though, I’m afraid. They way my mind works you can’t just kill off a major player, click your fingers, and carry on like nothing happened. When you pull shit like that just once then all bets are off. Nothing is ‘real’ nothing matters and there’s no threat, no tension, nothing. If you can make stuff up that simply negates what has gone before because it makes the writers lives easier – lazy script writing par excellence! – don’t expect me to keep buying it because I won’t. So that’s it. I’m stopping giving Marvel (and DC probably) any more money. They’ve fleeced me once too often and I’m sick of it, I’m done, it’s over. 

2 comments:

Mudpuddle said...

my... i see you take these more seriously than i... not being able to even keep track of the names, i just don't pay much attention... but for just turning the brain off and watching the action, most of them will have about the same effect as 3 or 4 beers, without the side effects... for seriousness, books are it, for me... actually, tho, thinking more about it, what is the real difference between the two? maybe i should get more serious about film... both, films and books, are mainly escapism, after all... tx, interesting post...

CyberKitten said...

I do get told I overthink things....... I can do mindless entertainment from time to time but a constant diet of that such of thing gets wearing after a while.