Thinking About: Being an Aries
By an odd statistical coincidence out of a team of six
people at work four of them (including me) have birthdays in April less than 10
days apart. This, as you might imagine, has caused some surprise and not a
small amount of amused conversation. This year one of the big bosses found out
– during one of his flying visits – and began musing on what characteristics we
had in common. None, I said, because Astrology is bollocks. He seemed quite
taken aback by my statement or maybe it was because he’s unused to hearing
moderately crude language from someone he considers to be fairly well educated?
Anyway…. Aries. Let’s see how much the supposed Arian
Personality matches my own shall we?
Aries personalities are independent. [Yes, I consider myself
to be very independently minded. I go my own way and do my own thing. This
trait has increased with age.]
Being the first of the zodiac signs, they venture out and
are go-getters, often leading the way. [No, I am almost never venturesome nor am
I go-getting. In fact I have often been criticised for not being a go-getter. I
do not lead, nor do I generally follow. I do not regard either trait to be
natural to me.]
Their upbeat and magnetic personality often entices others
to follow their lead because Aries personalities bring excitement into others
lives. [This made me laugh. Me…? Upbeat? I am universally recognised as being
quite dour and always looking at the dark-side of things. If I have any kind of
magnetism it’s the type that repels other things rather than attracting them. I
doubt very much if I bring excitement into others lives. If 100 people where
asked to describe me in one word I’m guessing that exciting would not feature.]
Aries are good friends, they always look out for their friends
with caring and generosity and will protect them should the need arise and
encourage them with their natural optimism. [Agreed. I am a good friend and
seem to spend a great deal of my time encouraging others. Go figure. As to
being naturally optimistic….? This caused another good laugh.]
If success is not immediate, they tend to lose interest and
give up easily. Aries are notorious for not finishing what they have begun.
This is due to the low tolerance for boredom and lack of patience. [I am not a
completer/finisher. Never have been. It’s not really that I’m bored with the
first project but that the next one, and the one after that, seems more
important. I don’t sweat the small stuff because I hardly take any notice of
it. It’s actually a running gag at work. I give up easily on most things
because I see them as fundamentally unimportant. For the important things – I
never give up. I am, in the right circumstance, quite relentless.]
Independence
is key to Aries astrology, they do not like to take orders from others and
enjoy getting their way. [Years ago, when I was still comparatively young, my
then boss learnt that I was quite interested in all things military. Well then,
she said, why don’t you join the Territorial Army (pretty much our version of
the American National Guard)? I just looked at her and said that I have a
pathological inability to take orders. Of course everyone would like to get
their own way (which must be quite enjoyable). I am no different. I would
certainly like to get my own way more often.]
In order to get their way, Aries will tell a lie if it seems
advantageous to do so. They are however, not very good liars and other people
can usually see through them. [I don’t tell lies very often. Lies are generally
too complicated and I have a shocking short term memory which makes me a poor
liar.]
Underneath the strong, independent surface may lie
insecurity. This is due to the intense drive to succeed and Aries put too much
pressure on themselves, thus resulting in self-doubt however, the natural optimism and
enthusiasm overtakes this and the underlying insecurity may never be known to
others. [Although I am in many ways rather insecure it is most definitely not
due to my ‘intense drive to succeed’ (which does not exist) and it is not
covered by my natural optimism and enthusiasm (likewise). I doubt. It’s what I
do. I’m a sceptic by nature and part of this scepticism is a doubt about my own
abilities. Oddly I have succeeded at, or at least coped with, virtually
everything I have undertaken in the last 50 years from education to work.]
An Aries man has a lust for adventure so if you are thinking
about having a relationship with an Aries man, be prepared for fast-paced
adventure, novelty and excitement. [Pretty much 100% wrong. Although not a
prude I do like my creature comforts and do not believe in taking silly risks
for thrills in a relationship. I can be impulsive – indeed I like being
impulsive but feel that spontaneity has its time and place and works best with
some decent planning behind it.]
Let Aries know that you admire them, they thrive of
admiration and followers. [A little bit of admiration is never a bad thing but
I have little time, and less respect, for followers. I am an independent person
who expects others to be independent too.]
They love compliments more then most other astrology signs
of the zodiac. [Oh how I hate compliments. I am find them deeply untrustworthy
and often do not believe a word.]
They like conversation about intellectual topics and engage
them in a lively discussion, or a friendly debate. They love the challenge and
the stimulation of good, intelligent conversation. [Most definitely as you may
have noticed.]
The head is Aries' most powerful erogenous zone. Stroking
their hair and rubbing their scalp will make them feel relaxed and heighten
their sensations. Nibble the ear, for especially the men, they will not be able
to resist this, he will get uncontrollable urges and you will soon be all his! [The
only person I don’t mind playing with my hair is my hairdresser. As to nibbling
my ears…… You have got to be kidding me!]
The Aries zodiac sign is straightforward, aggressive and
adventurous and this is reflected in their approach to sex. Expect it to be
physical, quick and rough, they like to dominate and have the upper position. [Whilst
a quick fuck can be lots of fun – especially when time is short – I much prefer
taking my time, building tension and even conversation during sex. I also like
it when my partner takes the lead and shows me what she likes. After all it
takes two to tango successfully.]
So, as you can see, apart from a few definite hits
most of the Aries personality profile does not apply to me – sometimes
spectacularly so. It is indeed a load of bollocks.