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I have a burning need to know stuff and I love asking awkward questions.

Monday, January 28, 2019


To sleep…. Or not (as the case may be).

I’m tired. It’s not that late though – only 21:23 here as I type this sentence. It hasn’t been a particularly long day, or a stressful one, but I’m certainly starting to flag. That’s because last night I barely slept. I woke up around 90 minutes after I put the light out and from then on lightly dozed until the alarm clock ‘woke’ me just over 5 hours later. Unfortunately this is not exactly an unusual occurrence.

I’ve been having bouts of insomnia for the last 20-30 years and possibly longer. Usually there’s a cause that seems to be a tailor made explanation for my inability to sleep: I’m ill, too stimulated, in unfamiliar surroundings, emotional or stressed from work. This I can understand and at least try to do something about. If I’m ill, say with a cold that restricts my breathing (which I hate at bedtime) I can take time off work to recover and, if required, sleep in the daytime to recover from my overnight sleep deprivation. I’ve learnt not to drink caffeine drinks after 6pm unless mixed with alcohol at the weekend (or if I’m actually planning to stay up all night watching an election – sad I know!). For the rest I try relaxation techniques, a nice smelling moisturiser designed for sleepless babies and various herbal remedies containing Valerian. So far at least I have managed to resist the pull of sleeping tablets and the danger of relying on them to get me under only to find I need a different kind of drug to get me going again in the morning. Personally I’d rather avoid that particular pharmacological roller-coaster if possible!

Most of my ‘episodes’ last 2-3 days (or rather nights) at the end of which I simply collapse into bed and sleep – deep. A few times it might drag on for 3-4 days/night. Very occasionally longer still. The worse times is when there is no obvious reason. It’s just that my brain refuses to sleep. During those, thankfully rare, instances I can be in bed WIDE awake where moments before I was barely keeping conscious. But the second my head hits the pillow – bam I’m awake. I know from experience that little I do after that will have any effect. I have often just considered getting up and continuing my day into the early hours but instead ‘pretended’ to sleep on the off chance that I could fool my body/brain the follow suit. Unfortunately my body has proven itself more than once to be smarter than I am.

Whilst not often actually debilitating my lack of sleep is, especially when it drags on for more than a few days, more than a little annoying. I suppose it might have something to do with my age. I do feel that it’s getting worse as the years progress. I wonder if, subconsciously, I’m realising that each hour awake is becoming progressively more precious. That’s probably a little too romantic for my taste. I think this might call for some research. I have a book on sleep coming up fairly soon. Maybe it’ll give me some pointers towards getting, more often than not, a decent night’s sleep. At least I can hope so [yawn]. 

5 comments:

mudpuddle said...

i had that when i was working... i think nowadays people are a lot more tense than they realize: it's the new normal reality... meditation helped me sometimes, but it takes some practice... consciously relaxing from the toes to the neck works sometimes, also, but you probably know all these things... modern day stress, i guess...

Sarah @ All The Book Blog Names Are Taken said...

I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping, I just could not shut my brain off. I also began having atypical migraines due to a lot of stress at work with a very unpleasant administrator. I ended up being prescribed Amitriptyline to help for the insomnia and also Lexapro to help with the anxiety. I am by no means a fan of medicating everyone, but I am on very low doses and it has helped tremendously. I would be so exhausted, but wake up five-eight times a night. I definitely feel your pain, my friend.

Judy Krueger said...

Insomnia is so annoying. I too have tried many things. At least, since I am now retired, I don't have to worry about performing at work the next day. I wish you luck in finding a solution that works for you.

CyberKitten said...

Thanks Guys, I had a much better sleep last night. Not great but definitely better! Looks like this one was just a blip... [phew]

@ Mudpuddle: Lack of sleep is a definite western phenomena these days. I can see why with the so-called 24hr culture. I for one don't have any screens in my bedroom and leave my phones downstairs.

@ Sarah: I hate it when your brain just RACES along and you get tired of shouting SHUT THE FUCK UP to it - to no avail! Oh, I get what you mean about stress migraines. Luckily I appear to have grown out of migraines (I used to get them from school onward). People who have never had one think they're just bad headaches..... How little they know! I was REALLY stressed at work a while back - the most stressed I've ever felt I think - with little to no help from my boss (who essentially told me I would just have to 'deal with it'). A few times I thought my head would explode (I'm guessing from my heightened blood pressure) and was a few days away from handing in my resignation or simply phoning in sick. NOT nice! I definitely appreciate your sympathy and understanding.

@ Judy: That's one of the things I can be relaxed about in around 14 months. No pressure to perform after a bad night or three.... Oh, retirement.... [grin]

VV said...

I’ve had trouble sleeping lately because of the impending move. M has lifelong chronic insomnia. She rotates types of sleep meds so they don’t lose their effectiveness, then she’ll also use melatonin on occasion.