I've never been interested in having children - not that I've had that much opportunity to test that theory. I mean, they're OK... moderately cute (mostly) and rather entertaining (from time to time), but the urge to actually produce one of your own.... that's never really crossed my mind.
I also think that we haven't reached our 'Great Filter' yet and I doubt if I'm alone in thinking that BAD times are coming for our species. The idea of deliberately bringing a *child* into that sort - THIS sort of world - would simply give me nightmares.
Lastly, I guess I'm also not alone feeling that the world has already FAR too many mouths to feed and that it would be remiss of me to add at least one more for no good reason. When I hear people - normally rich people who worry about their future customer base - lament about future population decline I can only shout GOOD! If we have to abandon areas or even whole cities because there's no one to live there, so what? Personally I think that LESS people is a much smaller problem for the planet - and our species - than MORE people.
Interestingly, I've heard various reports that surveyed adults say that around 50% don't have children and have zero intention of ever having them. Looks like the population decline isn't going to bottom out any time soon... Long may it continue I say!
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I get the sense that men (and women) who caricature childless women haven't actually known many. I may not have as much life experience as Vance, but even I have known several childless women who worked hard for their communities and completely changed my life with mentorship or acts of kindness. They have given society as much as any parent (and more than many bad parents).
Equating the production of children with 'worth' or 'investment in the future' (of the country or the world) is beyond silly considering how many people simply can't have them - plus the people who don't want them (for *numerous* reasons). Its not as if we classify & rank people enough already for stupid reasons.
Again (indeed yet again) the so-called party of Freedom & Individual Responsibility & Choice are trying - stupidly - to force people into doing things. Here's an idea... If you want to encourage people to *choose* to have children, how about providing affordable available childcare, paid maternity/paternity leave and maybe even financial child support. I'm sure that most families would be more than happy with that. Oh, and in the US... How about zero cost births....?
You are right on all accounts. You know that I have two children. Would I want any now in this world? Certainly not. And I don't blame my kids for not having produced any though I am sick and tired of the question why we're not grandparents. Yet.
I think part of the problem of women thinking they have to have children is society. You are not a "real" woman if you don't have them. Neither are you a "real" man if your wife doesn't. I had many comments before I had kids by colleagues and other idiots like "oh, if you're husband isn't up to it, I'm happy to help out." Ugh!
My Mum used to get a LOT of questions directed at her about my brother & me not 'dating', not being married or not producing children. She was even asked if we were gay - and this was quite some years ago. At least my mother never asked either of us such leading questions....
Childbearing has, until recently at least, has been seen as a duty or obligation. It still is by some people. So I can see the pressure that women have been/are under either to explain why not or just 'give in' and have them - if they can. I can't believe someone said that to you! YUK! [shudder]
Oh yes, I heard that several times from several people. None of them would ever been on my list of eligible men anyway.
I think it was even worse in your mother's case, nowadays many young people don't have children, so often I am not the only one without grandchildren.
I am kind of in the middle. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but never a wife. I would have loved 4 or 5, but things worked out the way they were supposed. I was maybe 6-8 weeks along with Eleanor in 2012 when the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School occurred and I bawled my eyes out during my plan time and lunch, wondering what kind of world I was bringing my baby into.
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