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I have a burning need to know stuff and I love asking awkward questions.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Gene breakthrough By Chris Taylor

From CNNNN

GENEVA - In what’s being hailed as a biotech breakthrough, gay scientists claim to have isolated the Christian gene.

According to reports, homosexual geneticists have spent years attempting to isolate the gene that renders people Christian. As members of the Pink Tiger Research Institute, they’re hoping to isolate the cause of Christianity altogether within the next decade. Dr Gary Delaney claims gay scientists have already prevented rats from being born Christian. “And hopefully,” says Dr Delaney, “humans will follow.”

Many Christians object to the findings, claiming their belief is not genetically determined. Mr Ben Heppell, a. practising Christian says, “Look, Christianity is a lifestyle choice. It’s perfectly natural.” But Pink Tiger claims the controversial religion is part of people’s DNA they say, Christianity can be inherited, just like baldness. “The way they dress, the way they talk, they way they exhibit themselves in public” explains Dr Delaney. “We now know that being Christian is actually not their fault.”

Scientists say that until a method is found to remove the Christian gene, gay scientists will continue counselling local Christians to make positive changes to their lifestyle and values. Parents of Christians, like Anne and Chris Mills, welcome the news with relief. “We always worried that if we’d done something different, our child would not have ended up a Christian” says Mrs Mills. “But now we know he didn’t have a choice.”

Now, thanks to the work of Pink Tiger, there is a choice, which is good for Christians everywhere.

Thanks to my good friend CQ for pointing me to this SPOOF news story. I found it so funny I nearly fell off my chair. Enjoy.

20 comments:

Jewish Atheist said...

Heh. :) Thanks.

dbackdad said...

That's one of the funniest things I've read in awhile. Humor has a tricky way of showing us truth.

CyberKitten said...

Agreed. It was one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. I do like humour that bites....

Juggling Mother said...

Fantastic - you know I think it's almost word for word the original story run in one of the tabloids.

Paste said...

Nice one!

JR said...

LMAO!! I'm sure the Christians wouldn't be amused, but neither were the gays when the roles were reversed. Thanks for sharing.

Sadie Lou said...

Vancouver Voyeur--
Yes, along with being born a Christian because of that Christian Gene, we lack the Sense of Humor Gene everyone else was born with...

CyberKitten said...

I'm not sure if humour is faith related... But I have known quite a few Christians who don't appear to have the 'Funny Gene'...

However, the story was pointed out to me by a very good friend of mine - who is also a... Quaker...

But I can see how it might possibly offend some Christians...

Did you find it funny Sadie?

Juggling Mother said...

I love the fact that you felt the need to specify that it was a spoof story:-)

CyberKitten said...

Mrs A said: I love the fact that you felt the need to specify that it was a spoof story:-)

I thought it was safer... Just in case... After all, there has been talk of the genetic component to religious feeling/spirituality on this Blog & elsewhere.. I didn't want people to get the wrong idea.

Aginoth said...

Absolutely hilarous :o)

So I hope you enjoyed Richard Dawkins program this evening...boy did he look scared by some of the "faithful" he talked to...quite rightly so.

JR said...

Aw, Sadie Lou, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I know plenty of Christians with a sense of humor, but having lived in the Bible Belt around extreme conservatives for too long, I also know many who don't.

CyberKitten said...

Mr A said: So I hope you enjoyed Richard Dawkins program this evening...boy did he look scared by some of the "faithful" he talked to...quite rightly so.

He got quite angry too.... I think that his 'problem' is that he expects people to be reasonable about things... Not a bad programme.

Sadie Lou said...

I totally found it funny. At first, I was thinking, "This can't be true!" then I was thinking," This is SO not true."
My first clue was "gay scientists". Who labels themselves like that?
Pink Tiger?
Pretty creative...
I forgive you, VV! I know what kind of Christians you mean.

Baconeater said...

I thought this was funny, but I also thought that Fundy Christians believe that people choose to be gay and aren't born that way. Fundy Christians can't cope with God putting someone genetically gay on this planet.

CyberKitten said...

BEAJ said: Fundy Christians can't cope with God putting someone genetically gay on this planet.

Interesting..... Never thought of it that way...

Karlo said...

So that's what's wrong with those people!

Sadie Lou said...

um..."fundy Christians" can't deal with God putting someone genetically gay on this planet but we CAN cope with God putting someone with a genetic tendancy to be alcoholics on this planet?
Sin is sin is sin is sin and God doesn't give us more than we can handle and sometimes, he helps us find our way to him through trials and difficulties.

Juggling Mother said...

If God doesn't give us more sin than we can handle, why are there so many "sinners" on the planet?

CyberKitten said...

Sadie said: God doesn't give us more than we can handle

So why do some people commit suicide when things 'get too much' for them?

Just a thought.... also if you are implying that homosexuality is a 'sin' of some kind I think that's rather narrow minded of you... Homosexuality is as natural/normal as heterosexuality.