I never wanted kids - at least I can never remember thinking it'd be a good idea or a necessity or anything. I guess I might have *had* kids if things worked out that way, and I'd certainly *try* to be a good parent but....
I remember growing up my gran asking if my brother & I were 'dating' or if we were planning on being parents and a few of my aunts apparently casually questioning our sexuality/preferences.... but noting too overt...! [lol]
As you say, not having kids is fine if that's you're choice. No one should be pressured or feel pressured into having any - despite what some idiotic pundits say about the 'moral obligation' to do so!!
AMEN!!! Please say it louder for the people in the back! I desperately wanted kids! I had them, and it was the hardest, most heart wrenching experience of my life. I love them. I’m glad I had them. And I’m grateful we all survived the experience, but this is not something you enter into lightly. Parenting will exhaust you physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. Don’t guilt trip people into having them. Some people shouldn’t be parents. No child should have to grow up in a home where they’re not wanted, loved, or cared for properly. My daughter has never wanted kids. She knows she’s not mentally equipped to deal with them. When the state of Texas made it difficult for her to replace her IUD, I told her to come up to Maryland and we’d do it here. I was accosted by an old white dude outside the Planned Parenthood when I walked up to escort my daughter out after the procedure. He said, “I hope you’ve taught your daughter about the sanctity of life!” I said, “I sure have, her life!”
Moral obligation, right?! And for me, I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but never wanted to be a wife (unless Dan Jones someday decides he loves me). So, here's to not doing what society deems is acceptable or mandatory, friend <3
Yeah, you know that 'genius' Elon Musk said that's a 'moral obligation' to keep producing kids (AKA future consumers) for the sake of Humanity..... Like 8 BILLION people isn't enough right now..... [lol]
I'm pretty positive that the world can do without a few kids from *ME*... [rotflmao]
Well said VV. Plus I'll never get over people (usually men to be honest) who think they have a right (often God-given apparently) to tell other people how they should be living their lives.
I thought (most especially in America!!) that people had every right to live as they please - or maybe that only *ever* applied to white men? just because you have a womb doesn't make you obligated to keep it constantly occupied....
I appreciate this post... I love kids but have never felt called to be a biological mother. It is a serious commitment, not one to be entered into without conviction. And frankly, I'd be very uneasy about raising a child in this current environment (ecological, political, etc).
I have kids and love them. But it would be the stupidest thing to tell others that they have to have them. Those poor kids that only are conceived because people think it's the norm to do. Or to repair their partnership. Or or or ...
@ Marian: Totally agree, especially about bringing kids into *this* world ATM! Deciding to have children is a HUGE commitment and, as you said, not to be taken lightly.
@ Marianne: I've know a few couples who decided the have another child because their relationship was 'going through a bad patch'. Shockingly it failed to fix things.... One of the things I all too often hear (although less so these days) is that choosing *not* to have children is "selfish". I never understood that. It just does not compute in my head.
Always such a bad idea. The poor kids. And no, if you have children because you "should" have them, that's just as bad for them. You should have kids if you want them. It's hard enough in a stable relationship.
My sister & her partner have SIX! All happy (mostly), all bright & actually (often) fun to be with. I'm both impressed and surprised at how good a mother she turned out to be!
I know a few people with half a dozen kids. I can only lift my hat, I have had enough with two. Not that I didn't love them or found it overwhelming but I am sure I could not have dealt with more.
13 comments:
Allllllll thiiiiiiiis. Not having kids is okay.
I never wanted kids - at least I can never remember thinking it'd be a good idea or a necessity or anything. I guess I might have *had* kids if things worked out that way, and I'd certainly *try* to be a good parent but....
I remember growing up my gran asking if my brother & I were 'dating' or if we were planning on being parents and a few of my aunts apparently casually questioning our sexuality/preferences.... but noting too overt...! [lol]
As you say, not having kids is fine if that's you're choice. No one should be pressured or feel pressured into having any - despite what some idiotic pundits say about the 'moral obligation' to do so!!
AMEN!!! Please say it louder for the people in the back! I desperately wanted kids! I had them, and it was the hardest, most heart wrenching experience of my life. I love them. I’m glad I had them. And I’m grateful we all survived the experience, but this is not something you enter into lightly. Parenting will exhaust you physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. Don’t guilt trip people into having them. Some people shouldn’t be parents. No child should have to grow up in a home where they’re not wanted, loved, or cared for properly. My daughter has never wanted kids. She knows she’s not mentally equipped to deal with them. When the state of Texas made it difficult for her to replace her IUD, I told her to come up to Maryland and we’d do it here. I was accosted by an old white dude outside the Planned Parenthood when I walked up to escort my daughter out after the procedure. He said, “I hope you’ve taught your daughter about the sanctity of life!” I said, “I sure have, her life!”
Moral obligation, right?! And for me, I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but never wanted to be a wife (unless Dan Jones someday decides he loves me). So, here's to not doing what society deems is acceptable or mandatory, friend <3
Yeah, you know that 'genius' Elon Musk said that's a 'moral obligation' to keep producing kids (AKA future consumers) for the sake of Humanity..... Like 8 BILLION people isn't enough right now..... [lol]
I'm pretty positive that the world can do without a few kids from *ME*... [rotflmao]
Well said VV. Plus I'll never get over people (usually men to be honest) who think they have a right (often God-given apparently) to tell other people how they should be living their lives.
I thought (most especially in America!!) that people had every right to live as they please - or maybe that only *ever* applied to white men? just because you have a womb doesn't make you obligated to keep it constantly occupied....
Trust me, that idea only applies to the mediocre white men who run this country.
I appreciate this post... I love kids but have never felt called to be a biological mother. It is a serious commitment, not one to be entered into without conviction. And frankly, I'd be very uneasy about raising a child in this current environment (ecological, political, etc).
I have kids and love them. But it would be the stupidest thing to tell others that they have to have them. Those poor kids that only are conceived because people think it's the norm to do. Or to repair their partnership. Or or or ...
@ Marian: Totally agree, especially about bringing kids into *this* world ATM! Deciding to have children is a HUGE commitment and, as you said, not to be taken lightly.
@ Marianne: I've know a few couples who decided the have another child because their relationship was 'going through a bad patch'. Shockingly it failed to fix things.... One of the things I all too often hear (although less so these days) is that choosing *not* to have children is "selfish". I never understood that. It just does not compute in my head.
Always such a bad idea. The poor kids.
And no, if you have children because you "should" have them, that's just as bad for them. You should have kids if you want them. It's hard enough in a stable relationship.
Totally agree.
My sister & her partner have SIX! All happy (mostly), all bright & actually (often) fun to be with. I'm both impressed and surprised at how good a mother she turned out to be!
I know a few people with half a dozen kids. I can only lift my hat, I have had enough with two. Not that I didn't love them or found it overwhelming but I am sure I could not have dealt with more.
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